
I’m a survivor of spinal cord tumors. I’ve had back issues since I was in high school, including a few stress fractures in my lower back. I started having pain in my lower back that was just bad enough that I couldn’t do some of the things I love (e.g., running, cycling). I did physical therapy, but that didn’t fix it. Finally, I asked my PCP at my campus health center (I was a grad student at the time) if I could get an MRI.
A couple days after the MRI, I got a call from my PCP saying there was something blurry in the imaging. And, she scheduled another MRI for that same evening. A day later, my PCP called again with the results: at least two masses in my spinal cord.
Honestly, I’m still not sure. I recently posted on LinkedIn about my journey, and it felt like I was writing about someone else when I used the words “I survived cancer.” It doesn’t always feel real. But then, I feel a pain in my back or see my scars from surgery and I’m reminded of what I went through.
I think the times I feel it the most are when someone in my life is also diagnosed with cancer. Or, when I talk to a fellow survivor navigating their own survivorship.
Access to mental health. There were ~2 months between when I was diagnosed and my surgery. I was in grad school, and I remember struggling to describe my diagnosis to friends and classmates. My heart would race when people asked harmless questions like “How was your summer?” I was having nightmares and couldn’t relax. I wish I had a peer or fellow survivor tell me this was completely normal,someone to validate what I was feeling.
I’m lucky and grateful – my neuro-oncologists considered my tumors cancer, but they weren’t aggressive enough to warrant chemotherapy or radiation. After a successful surgery, I just need periodic MRIs of my spine for the rest of my life.
I find those MRIs both scary and grounding: I remember the first surveillance MRI was when I was a grad student. I drove ~1 hour to San Francisco, completed the MRI, got my results (all clear!), and then drove back to campus for class that afternoon.
The surreal nature of the combination—a surveillance MRI and class just a few hours apart—really affected me. My life has changed, and I’m still realizing how different things are.
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